joe eats

That’s why it was no surprise when two weeks ago King Foodie brought home a mysterious packet of “green stuff.” He placed it in our fridge next to the butter and garlic. It appeared relatively innocuous in its vac pac sealed bag, didn’t smell, so ignoring it was easy. That was until Sunday morning. Joe and I leisurely got out of bed, looking forward to our precious five hours together before he leaves for work. As we were getting ready for a jog, I noticed King Foodie walking towards the fridge with a certain sparkle in his eyes. “Love, I am going to make you a delicious brunch when we get back,” Joe said. I thought to myself, “That is so sweet.” Before I had a chance to ask, “What do you have in mind?” I saw twinkle-toed Joe eyeing the “green stuff.” Oh… Ew….

Waving the green stuff in my face, King Foodie enthusiastically said, “I am going to make eggs with lobster caviar!” I replied, “You mean, the green stuff?” Channeling his inner salesman, King Foodie said, “You like lobster, right?” I said, “Uh, yeah… but, this green stuff does not look anything like the lobsters I like to eat!” Joe annunciated louder and clearer, “But this is lobster and caviar,” implying that this stuff is fabulous and I would be lucky to eat it. “Oh… excuse me, maybe I didn’t fully understand what it was…” “Look Mister, whether you’re going to stand here and tell me that this “slime pack” is cotton candy, cookie dough, or caviar, doesn’t make me more eager to eat it. Can you make me plain eggs? Is that an option, honey?”Here is the predicament. King Foodie would like nothing more than to cook me brunch, and by brunch we mean eggs plus the green stuff. He will not be happy making me eggs without the “slime.” What am I supposed to do? Break our favorite Foodies heart? Although I pride myself on being the doting, devoted wife, I have to draw the line somewhere. And for me, eating green slime is cutting it really close.

We left for our jog. While running I did my best to block out images of the slime waiting for me when we return. After running we stopped at the grocery store to pick up side accompaniments. Luckily, we “ran out of time” and had to order take-out. Phew…

But, it’s not over yet… The “lobster caviar” is still in our fridge. I’ve already planned my escape…. if it ever makes it to the frying pan.

To be continued…

Savor on,

Marney

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